Promise me
by JCSwriter
Summary: Fare thee well, My own true love, Farewell for a while, I'm going away, But I'll be back, Though I go 10,000 miles. Post Goodbye and Good luck.  Just a short missing ending scene between Sara and Gil.  Hard to write, hard to read, but it was hard to watch


Just a short missing scene for the end of "Goodbye and Good Luck". I'm sure there will be a few. I actually liked how they ended it, if it had to end that is. It was sad, but hopeful. She'll be back.

Oh yeah, Gil and Sara don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes. Song information follows the story.

_Fare thee well  
My own true love  
Farewell for a while  
I'm going away  
But I'll be back  
Though I go 10,000 miles (1)_

A million things raced through his mind as he walked blindly back to his office and locked himself in. How had he missed it? How had he missed how far away she'd gone? The look on her face when he glanced up from his paperwork. The sleepless nights she kept trying to hide. The kiss. Oh God the kiss that he'd almost flinched away from. All the signs.

_She can't be really gone. (2)_

It was a long shot, but he quickly dialed her cell phone. It rang endlessly before going to voicemail. He disconnected and dialed again. One ring, then two. Five, then six. He couldn't breathe. Then…

"Gil." Tears in her voice.

"God Sara I am so sorry, honey. Please."

"Gil it's not you. Really, it's not. You are the only thing that's been good in my life in a very long time."

"I'm sorry I missed it. I should have realized…"

She sniffled and let out a long shaky breath.

"I could come with you," he said.

"I know. But I think I need to do this on my own."

"Are you stopping home first?"

"Gil. Don't… I can't…"

"No. I won't come. But there is money in my bureau. Back of the sock drawer. Roll of cash stashed in a black sock. Take it"

"No, Gil. I can stop at an ATM or…"

"Sara, take the money," he ordered firmly. "And my travel case is in better shape then yours. It's in the top of the hall closet. Be careful getting it down, OK."

"Here's fine," she said to someone else. There was a pause, then a car door opened, "Thanks."

"Still with me?" Gil asked after another moment.

"Always," she replied softly.

"Promise me you'll take the money and my case."

"OK."

"Promise me you'll keep your cell phone with you."

"I will."

"Promise me you'll call if you need me. I can be anywhere on this planet in less than a day. Promise me you'll take care of yourself. That you'll eat. And sleep."

"I will."

"Promise me you'll come back." It was spoken in barely a whisper, but it carried such weight.

"I promise," her voice broke. "I love you Gil."

"I love you Sara. You know how to find me. I'll be waiting right here." And then he disconnected. Unable to bear it any longer, he laid his head onto arms folded on his desktop.

_10,000 miles my own true love  
10,000 miles or more  
The rocks may melt  
And the seas may burn  
If I should not return_

He would have to tell the others. Greg would be devastated. The others. There was the new girl that was shadowing Sara. God what was her name.

_She can't be really gone._

He wanted to leap up and run. Run home and catch her before she left. Make her stay. Make her let him go with her. His head hurt. He felt sick. He wanted so much. But he knew. Just knew. There was no making her.

_Oh don't you see  
That lonesome dove  
Sitting on an ivy tree  
She's weeping for  
Her own true love  
As I shall weep for mine_

He didn't want to cry there. He had to go out and tell them. He had to go home to empty rooms. He needed to buy dog food.

_Oh come ye back  
My own true love  
And stay a while with me  
If I had a friend  
On this Earth  
You've been a friend to me_

He didn't want to cry there.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

The dog leapt up when he entered. But seeing only him, he flopped back down with a mournful groan.

"I'm sorry, pal."

He went to the hall closet. His case was gone.

He went to the bedroom. To the bureau. To the sock drawer. The one lone black sock from the back was gone. She'd taken it along with the money he'd left stashed there. In its place she left a folded piece of paper. He shoved it into his pocket, unopened.

Not ready.

_She can't be really gone._

A photo was missing from her dresser. One taken by Nick at a crime scene. Gil had been showing Sara something from the ground. And Nick saw him smile, so he snapped a photo. Completely inappropriate and unprofessional, but it was his favorite of the two of them. It was from before. Before the desert. Before anyone knew what his smile meant.

But she'd left others. Various snaps of him and her separately, or with the dog. A single one of them together from last Christmas. Digital camera set on a timer captured a pose and a smile.

He began to search the apartment, making a mental list.

_She can't be really gone._

She'd taken some of her clothes. All of her jeans. Most of her shirts. A couple of his were missing too, including the one he'd dropped on top of the hamper. Only two pair of shoes?

_She can't be really gone._

Her laptop computer and its case. A few of her books. But the book she'd been reading was still on the nightstand. A butterfly bookmark rested inside. His butterfly bookmark lay three quarters of the way through. Unfinished yet left.

_She can't be really gone._

It wasn't her book. It was borrowed from the library. It was due back in three days. He walked out to the living room and placed it in his case to return it.

_She can't be really gone._

There was a note on the refrigerator.

"Gil. You need to go to the store. You need milk, bread, and cheese. Promise me you'll eat too."

She'd cleaned out the fridge. All the leftovers were gone. The containers were drying in the rack. There was a sandwich made with the last of the fresh bread and his deli roast beef. On the top of the wrapping was a post-it note. "Promise me." The post it note and grocery list joined the first note in his pocket.

_She can't be really gone._

He sat at the table and ate mechanically. He managed to swallow half of the sandwich, feeding the other half to the dog whose appetite seemed in no way diminished by his depression. But maybe he was lucky and didn't realize…

_She can't be really gone._

He took a shower. Her half empty bottle of shampoo still sat inside. He opened the lid and took a long sniff. Then he put it back and used his own.

_Oh come ye back  
My own true love  
And stay a while with me  
If I had a friend  
On this Earth  
You've been a friend to me_

The bed felt huge. Even with the dog. Huge and cold. So he went out to the sofa. He lay down with his pillow and a blanket.

_She can't be really gone._

Only then did he think about the first note. The one from his sock drawer. He went and retrieved it from his pocket. He took a deep breath and opened it. It was a printout of two photographs. The one on top had been taken the night they first met. Some co-worker of hers had taken a Polaroid and she'd kept it. Scanned and reprinted it was not as sharp, but it captured the moment. Looking at each other, talking about science. A piece of her hair had escaped from the ponytail. He remembered so vividly wanted to tuck that strand back. To touch her in the smallest way. In any way.

The bottom photo had been taken by Greg at the go cart races. Sara's arm was in a cast, her face was bruised. Gil looked windblown from his time behind the wheel. Both were smiling, but he could see the sadness in her eyes and the worry in his own.

They weren't his favorite photos of the two of them. The first one he hadn't realized anyone was taking. The second he hadn't wanted taken. The first he felt showed so much of his old man's yearnings. The second too much of her vulnerability.

But it was the earliest photo of the two of them. And the most recent.

And at the bottom she'd written. "I will, I promise. Yours always. Love Sara."

It wasn't much. But it was enough. Enough to give him hope.

End.

Two songs came to mind for this story. One is the most mournful song I've ever heard. And two - I just used the title throughout. More of a desperate thought racing through the mind.

Hope you enjoyed this.

(1) 10,000 Miles Performed by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Traditional

_Fare thee well  
My own true love  
Farewell for a while  
I'm going away  
But I'll be back  
Though I go 10,000 miles _

10,000 miles my own true love  
10,000 miles or more  
The rocks may melt  
And the seas may burn  
If I should not return

Oh don't you see  
That lonesome dove  
Sitting on an ivy tree  
She's weeping for  
Her own true love  
As I shall weep for mine

Oh come ye back  
My own true love  
And stay a while with me  
If I had a friend  
On this Earth  
You've been a friend to me 

And of course

She can't be really gone - Tim McGraw

_Her hat is hanging by the door  
The one she bought in Mexico  
It blocked the wind  
It stopped the rain  
She'd never leave that one  
So, she can't be really gone _

The shoes she bought on Christmas Eve  
She laughed and said they called her name  
It's like they're waiting in the hall  
For her to slip them on  
So, she can't be really gone  
I don't know when she'll come back  
She must intend to come back  
I've seen the error of my ways  
Don't waste the tears on me  
What more proof do you need  
Just look around the room  
So much of her remains

Her book is lying on the bed  
The two of hearts to mark her page  
Now who could ever walk away at chapter 21  
So, she can't be really gone

Just look around this room  
So much of her remains  
Her book is lying on the bed  
The two of hearts to mark her page  
Now who could ever walk away  
With so much left undone 

_So, she can't be really gone  
No, she can't be really gone_


End file.
